GMA is a huge piece of cr_p. She has no respect for the constitution and the filipino people. All she cares about is for Mike Arroyo to pig out on the jueteng money he receives monthly and for her f_ _ kin ass to sit in glory while the rest of the economy is going towards hell. It will only be a waste of time to have a Truth Commission because the truth is not out there, it is plain out! What more evidence to they need to have? When garci mentioned "pampataas sa inyo" did he actually mean a magical growth pill for GMA? Oh come on!

We cannot go on with a president whom the filipino people did not vote for. And we cannot go on following a shepherd who is more lost than her sheep. GMA did not only stole our votes but she stole this country of noble people. She cannot even protect our journalists for GMA herself is a
part of the entire sh_t to keep her thug friends in power. For the sake of her soul and the republic, Ms. Arroyo should aleady resign. We are in need
of honest leaders to lead us not thugs. Perhaps the palace gardener would make a better president that Ms. Arroyo.

GMA is a huge piece of cr_p. Every filipino should flush her down the toilet.

ever since i was a child, i have always been the ugly duckling. i was known as the girl with old, out-of- style clothes, frizzy hair, blemished  ;face and crooked teeth.basically, things remained the same: i have always been the laughingstock. for years, i was badly beaten by prejudice and ridicule to the point that numbness already&nbs p;sinks in.

when i was 7, my cousin told me my hair smelled like dogfood. if we did not live in their house and perhaps if i had more toys than he did, perhaps he wouldn't say that.

when i was in gradeschool, my classmates, even my own friends made fun of my crooked teeth. at that time, having braces was the trend. it can gain you a certain level of popularity if you had them. my parents were only managing a small bussiness and the money they were earning was only enough to send me school. so i went on through my gradeschool and a part of my HS days with an effort not to smile.

i thought my bf in third yr would understand. misfortune was probably laughing at me that day.

"ok ka na sana eh, wag ka lang ngumiti."

in HS, my friends made fun of the way i dressed, my frizzy hair and  the ugly zits that incessantly popped out of my face. what hurts more is that they made fun of me at my back.

"ang jologs niya magdamit. parang pang-masa..." she thought i did not hear what she said.

i myself was not comfortable with what i was wearing. i was at some point but sometimes i dont. shopping to me was a form of luxury and only rich people was priveleged to do that. since we were poor, i did not have that privelege. i lived in the province and i only had the chance to go to malls twice a year. that was on vacation to buy a pair of school shoes and on december to buy a little something for christmas.

i felt bad every PE class because i had no decent rubber shoes to wear. all of my classmates had gorgeos shoes--nike, adidas, fila, anything that is expensive they had it. the pair of rubbershoes i wore was an old pair that i was using ever since grade 6. they were actually white but the long years that have passed made it look brown. if it were not for the generosity of my grandmother in the US, i would have probably used my black school shoes for PE.

when i was 15, i was rejected by the boy whom i madly fell inlove with. i wrote him a love letter which openly divulged how i adored him from head to toe. i lent him my blanket that night of the conferece because i did not want him to shiver in the cold. but harold did not love me back. i blamed myself for being fat because my YFC members told me I was fat.

everytime i lost in a tournament, my coach would always blame my weight. " ang taba mo kasi kaya ang bilis mo hingalin."

everytime i would fancy on feminine clothes like tubes or dresses, my parents would always tell me not to bother to think about it. it will only make me look like a lousy pig.

i guess that is the reason why people around me think i am boyish. i wear lose pants and shirts all the time. people are surprised when i tell them i love pink. ofcourse i love pink!

my bestfriends told me i am beautiful. they said my eyes are pretty and that i am voluptuous. i think they have confused themselves with what is voluptuous and what is chubby. and i think they are only telling me that because they love me and they dont want to hurt me.

this morning, i took a few shots of my self in the bathroom, in my room and outside our house. when i was in the bathroom, i looked below and stared at my feet. they were bigger than the usual size of a 19 year old. looking at my feet makes me feel uglier and makes more selfpity sink deeper into me. not only bec my feet alone are ugly but they seem to have a smoother complexion than my face.

i recall that afternoon  when martin and I were on our way to SM north, he asked me what were those black dots on my face. martin is my bestfriend and i even tell him how i feel when i take a dump but when he questioned me about those black spots, i felt so damn ashamed!

i fear sunlight for light sees all imperfection. i fear seeing my own reflection for the mirror sees all imperfection. i become furious when somebody takes my picture for the camera not only sees imperfection but can even produce copies of your ugliness. i am a a considerate person and i dont want people to even lay an an eye on my monstrosity and my deformation.

i hated wearing my ID  back in HS because all four of my ID shots were   appalling especially my third yr ID pic. I looked so malnurished and the nerves in my neck were so visible they looked like string beans. also, my teeth looked so crooked even though i was wearing braces. on my last year in HS, i vowed to have atleast a decent picture i could show to my future boyfriend. the ID pictorial day came. my plan was to have a shy smile by not exposing my teeth. i felt better when i went home that day because i knew i would look better on my senior ID.

but when i got my ID, i realized that my enitire plan of having atleast a decent HS id pic is ruined! my face looked so oily and instead of having that shy monalisa smile, my cheeks looked so swollen as if i had a toothache.

despite all these crazy thoughts, i still think i am not vain. well, if you think i am, you just have not seen how my entire life was. but that is another story. i pity our bathroom for such fate they have befallen. if our bathroom walls only had hands, they could have shielded they're eyes from my naked ugliness.

I got a big fat F for chem.

But, i will rise again. Tanginang mga kano kayo.

This poem was inspired by so many things. First the koreanovela Endless Love (which I am not a fan of by the way), second, some scenes in the movie House of Flying Daggers but above all, I was inpired by the person who  is my happiness and my sadness. This poem is for you. You know who you are.

I am a wretched writer. My only way of escaping this body is to reincarnate to the body of my favorite poet, Jose Corazon se Jesus. Alas! My favorite poet is dead! Im stucked with my wretchedness for the rest of my life. :(

This poem is a masterpiece;it is a piece of  gem. I wish I could make poems as good as de Jesus. I wish I could make beautiful poems for --

Dahong Lagas

Namamalas mo bang ang dahong nalagas,
Laruan ng hangin sa gitna ng landas,
Kung minsan sa iyong kamay ay maqpadpad 
Gaya ng paglapit ng kawawang palad

Ako ay ganyan din, balang araw, irog,
Kung humahagibis ang ang bagyo at unos
Kagaya ay dahon sa gabing malungkot,
Ako sa piling mo'y ihahatid ng Dios.

Naririnig mo ba ang munting kuliglig 
Na sa hatinggabi'y mag-isa sa lamig,
At sa bintana mo'y awit din nang awit
Ng nagdaang araw ng sawing pag-ibig

Ako man ganyan din, darating ang araw
Na kung ako'y iyong sadyang nalimutan,
Ang kaluluwa ko'y ikaw'y lalapitan
At sa hatinggabi'y payapang hahagkan.

Paghihip ng hangin , pagguhit ng kidlat,
Kung ang hangi't ulan ay napakalakas,
Kagaya ng dahon sa iyo'y papadpad,
Gaya ng kuliglig sa iyo'y tatawag.

At akong wala na sa iyong paningin,
Limot na ng madla't halos limot mo rin,
Walang anu-ano sa gabing madilim,
Dahong ipapadpad sa iyo ng hangin.

    & nbsp;

Babala: Pinapayo ng manunulat na huwag kumain habang binabasa ang artikulong ito. Maaring magsuka o mahilo ang sino mang may mahina ang sikmura.

Ala-sais ng umaga,marahan kong inahit ang mga kilikili ko. Ilang linggo ko rin nakaligtaan magahit. Marahil ay naiisip mo na kung gaano na kalago ang ang mga buhok ko. Mga ala-siete ng umaga, sa ilalim ng walang patawad na init araw, tinahak ko ang daan tungo sa Wendy's. Sa paglalakad ko, naalala ko na kailangan ko nga pala magpabili ng deodorant para naman hindi gaano pawisan ang kilikili ko. Nakakahiya yata sa sa mga kustomer ko kung makikita nila na ang nagluluto ng burger patties nila ay nagpapawis na parang baboy.Ayoko rin naman ng ganoon. Pakiramdam ko na lasang suka ang niluluto ko. :x Ilang beses na ako may pagkakataon bumili ng deodorant. Namili ako noon sa Suave, Secret, Lady Stick at kung ano-ano pa. Ang dami-dami nila. Pero, mamaya mabango nga kilikili mo, maitin naman!:x

Bata pa lang ako, nasanay na ako na pulbos lang ang panglaban ko sa pawis. Pero malaki na ako. Ayoko naman magmukang binabad sa harina ang kilikili ko--muka siyang breaded chicken.

Dumating ako ng maaga sa Wendy's. Ilang minuto ko rin pilit itinago ang pawis ko sa kilikili na talaga namang bakat na bakat na sa aking kamiseta. Nakakailang. Salamat sa aircon. Pinalipas ko ang tatlong oras na walang kuwentang orientation. Wala akong natutunan. Pagkatpos noon, dumiretso na ako ng uwi. Sa katangahan ko, nagkamali ako ng baba ng bus. Nilakad ko pa papunta sa bahay namin.Lintik ang sikat ng araw. Nanunuot sa anit mo ang init at pagkatapos ay parang niluluto sa pugon ang utak mo.Gamunggong pawis ang tumatagiktik sa katawan ko. Nagmadali ako sa paglalakad at sa pagmamadali ako ginulat ako ng asong bigla na lang kumahol sa akin.  Pagdatating ko sa bahay ayun, bagsak kama inabot ko. Wala naman ako ganoong ginawa pero pakiramdam ko ay pagod na pagod ako. Pakiramdam ko ay ginahasa ako ng sampung gorilya na high sa viagra.Di ko man lang napunasan ang kilikili ko na buong umagang naligo sa pawis. :x

:roll: Summer has begun and the temperature here in Tucson is now hitting extreme heights. From the usual temperature of 83°F, the temperature skyrocketed to 103°F! Ive heard that summer here extends upto August. Lord, spare me from the summer heat! (':cry:')

Nagsamampay lang ako ng damit sa labas, nahilo na agad ako. :( And so today, I feel awfully terrible.:( But, this day is not such a bad day after all. Atleast I found myself a job in Wendy's. I never thought I'd be working for one of my favorite fastfoods. So, instead of sitting my fat ass here all day, I'll be flipping burger patties instead. I guess my computer will be having  a break for awhile.

Ang sinag ng araw ay pawang kadiliman
sapagkat ikaw lamang ang alam kong liwanag.
Kailanma'y di na magdidilim ang aking buhay.
Ikaw ang aking daigdig
at ako ay iyo.
Ikaw at ako,tayo ay pagibig.

You don't need to be van Gogh to know that the author of this journal possess mediocre artistic skills. Though I have tried in vain to make this journal look professional, my efforts have failed me. But then I have realized that I dont need to make a fanciful journal for who even would bother read this anyway?

I used to think that people who have online journals are vain and attention seekers.  Or in own my native language, KSP (kulang sa pansin). I call them "Anne Frank wannabes" .Some pour their hearts out thinking someday the world will understand them. But most of the time, these thoughts only yield false hopes.

After sometime, I have thought of considering venturing in to having an online journal. I used the word "venture" because I have always feared being judged by other people. For the past years of my life, I have been badly beaten by prejudice and ridicule. But now, I do not care anymore. Even if I run naked along katipunan, or if I shoot myself dead infront of Malacanang, the world would never care. My life to other people is as worthless as a drop of water in an ocean or a leaf in a folliage of autumn leaves.

I take pride in making and maintaning this journal. Atleast, I could feel that I am still in touch with my self. Atleast I know I am still sane. Or am I still sane?

To those who will read  or even just take a browse over my journal, you have my heart-felt gratitude. I humbly open up to you my woes and my joys.

At 19 years old, I still feel so lost. While other people are so preoccupied with finding friends through friendster or myspace or whatever hi-tech friend finder there is, I have decided to find myself and to get to know myself more.

Carpe Diem!